Power Rankings: Week 1
The season is officially underway, which means the everlasting struggle for superiority over our friend group is underway as well. Without further ado, your Week 1 Power Rankings…..and...here…we….go.
Peter’s Team (1-0)
Exploding for 160+ points in Week 1 is what I’d qualify as one hell of a start. You gotta love how Josh Jacobs, Aaron Jones, JuJu, and especially Will Fuller looked in their respective season debuts. The bench is shallow as hell - but could we have a ‘worst to first’ situation on our hands? Team name needs work though. Who do you think you are? Dan Snyder?
Hammered Hanks (1-0)
Speaking of fast starts, how ‘bout Nuk’s debut for the Cardinals? Pretty scary stuff for a guy who was picked late in the second round. He, Coop, DK, Slayton, and Parker are going to be an intimidating squad of wideouts all season long. If Hank can figure out that RB2 slot, then we might be looking at an early championship favorite. Don’t get that championship tattoo quite yet though, pal.
Moore Crow-Bell (1-0)
Led by Russ, Julio, and Zeke - it’s no surprise this team is off to a strong start. Losing Le’Veon for a few weeks is going to sting, but it looks like Ryan will be slotting in Peyton Barber as a volume-play during that absence. And with Michael Thomas out, Emmanuel Sanders’ and Jared Cooks’ stonks are through the roof.
A Stainers (1-0)
So far, so good. There are some interesting developments within the team though. Latavious Murray out-carried Alvin Kamara, the Zach Ertz situation in Philly smells really funky (Dallas Goedert’s big Week 1 doesn’t help either), and deciding between Malcolm Brown and Cam Akers might just be a back-and-forth decision all year long. But still, did you see how Davante Adams balled out? Told ya so.
Z-Unit (1-0)
Dealt with a pair of brutal WR injuries, Big Z got lucky matching up against an opponent who happened to lay a big fat egg in Week 1. Hopefully Kenny Golladay and Courtland Sutton are able to take the field soon so we can see these boys at full strength. A high upside bench, and an all but certain redemption from Saquon provides plenty of reason for optimism.
John Brown (0-1)
Pairing up CEH and Ekeler makes for one of my favorite RB combos in the league, and the WRs ain’t bad neither. I won’t read too much into Mike Evans’ struggles, but by god that man isn’t even worth starting when he goes up against Marshon Lattimore. In his last three games matching up against the Saints, he’s recorded just 5 catches for 71 yards. In the words of Mike Krukow, “that’s ownage”. Anyway, bounceback performances from Brady, Waller, and Evans will get this team back on track sooner than later.
Terra Nova Tigers (1-0)
It was a nice Week 1 dub, but c’mon boss - you know your Power Ranking has to take a hit when Michel Thomas goes down. But bunk news aside, the rest of the team is looking strong. Adam Thielen and Robert Woods are as legit as they come, and Parris Campbell may even pick up some slack while MT ices up. All eyes are on J.K. Dobbins though - we’ll just have to wait and see what the Baltimore backfield snap count looks like when they take on the Texans in Week 2. Congrats, bud! You’ve nearly matched your win total from 2018!
Bounceback Szn (0-1)
The heavy gamble on early RB’s has had mixed yet mostly positive results so far. David Johnson looks like he had some spring in his step, Todd Gurley looked decent with a healthy 16 touch workload, but the Nick Chubb situation is a little disheartening. Kareem Hunt had far more touches and more first down carries. Maybe it was game script-related - but you gotta admit, it’s weird. But still, Josh ‘The Hand Cannon’ Allen looked fantastic, and Hollywood Brown and Henry Ruggs looked pretty nice to start the year. If the RB’s stay healthy, this will be a competitive squad.
Brees In The Trap (0-1)
Don’t overreact! Sure the Mark Ingram situation is scary and Brandin Cooks was disappointing - but look on the bright side. With Marlon Mack out, Jonathan Taylor becomes a set it and forget tailback, and Calvin Ridley looks to be a more than viable WR1. You still have Lamar Jackson too. The bench may need work, but get ahold of yourself! This is not the time to panic.
Still T.O.M. (0-1)
PANIC! WHAT THE F*CK MAN - James Conner is primed for a bounceback year and he goes out and rolls an ankle after 6 carries??? C’mon. And now ARob is deleting social media posts because he’s unhappy with his contract?? UGH. It’s not all bad though - CMC is still CMC and Kyler Murray looked every bit the dark horse MVP candidate many analysts branded him to be. Backup Benny Snell and James Robinson’s lead back duty in Duvall should help stop the bleeding. After all, this team is still projected to score the most points in Week 2 - for whatever that’s worth.
The Steamers (0-1)
Don’t be mad! By no means is an 11th place ranking an indictment of this team’s upside. Actually, I might argue the Steamers offer the safest RB trio in the league. We know who Derrick Henry is - and the fact that he had 3 catches the other night shouldn’t go unnoticed. Melvin Gordon looked like the clear lead back in Denver, and now Philip Lindsay has a case of the ole turf toe. Then we have Kareem Hunt, who Kevan Stefanski clearly wants involved in his retooled offense. Not bad! But behind Tyreek Hill, these wideouts need to show me something - namely OBJ, the steamer himself.
#1 Team in all of HMB (0-1)
I’ll admit it. This is harsh. But so is being asked to rank your friends’ fantasy teams after four quarters of football - so suck it up. My primary concern is injury-related. Miles Sanders will hopefully return from a nagging hammy on Sunday, and David Montgomery missed nearly all of training camp with a strained groin. If either of those two are forced to miss any time, Leonard Fournette can’t be relied upon yet to produce. The good news is this; A.J. Green was one bad call away from a stellar season debut, Cam Newton looked like an awesome steal in the 11th round, and Chris Godwin is a stud.
