Power Rankings: Week 5
Week 6! P-Fest Weekend! Here we come!
Injuries are starting to mount up, and the power structure is starting to solidify itself. Somehow, someway, we’re nearly 1/3 through the regular season. Giddyup!
Case (4-1)
Last Week: 1st
How’s that trophy coming along? Any progress? Yes I’m annoyed, because karma isn’t doing its job. Look. There’s not much analysis that needs to be done here. The truth is, this roster is better than yours. The only stretch critique I can come up with is the QB situation. One plays with bald bold aggression, and the other has a tendency to be more “touch” than “touchdown”.
Bacich (4-1)
Last Week: 2nd
Can I interest you in a punch in the chin? Followed by karate chop to the throat? I imagine that’s what the Achane & Conner injury news feels like. With those two on IR, this deity of a roster is looking mortal all of a sudden. At 4-1 there’s no need to get reckless, but an RB placeholder might be nice.
Mike & Chet (3-2)
Last Week: 3rd
Speaking of karate chops to the throat - “hey Russel!” - losing Jefferson is brutal. Especially when Schefty promptly floats the rumor that he may not return at all! Thanks Adam! Great insight! Tank Dell and Romeo Doubs have been steady sleepers all season long, so their production will be imperative moving forward. The good news? Breece is BACK, and Etienne looks like a bonafide RB1 moving forward.
TRADE UPDATE: If Schefter is simply blowing smoke up our butts, and Jefferson does return this season, he and AJ Brown will be a force. The deal takes a significant bite out of the club’s depth, but with the change of scenery I fully expect Dotson to perform like the second coming of Jerry Rice.
Austin (3-2)
Last Week: 7th
Big week for a big stain! That guy from LSU figured it out on Sunday, and it’s hard to imagine David Montgomery fading away at this point. Isaiah Pacheco runs like he’s trying to wake up the neighbors on the first floor, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t look like an RB2 with upside. It’s a fool's errand to analyze good luck and bad fortune. BUT - had it not been for the heartbreak of Week 3 and Week 4, this club would be a perfect 5-0.
Kyle (1-4)
Last Week: 5th
Alright, sir. Stop making me look foolish! I’m sticking my neck out pretty far by keeping you in the top half this week. It feels early to start talking about “must win” games, so we’ll call this next one a “highly needed win”. Keenan and Metcalf returning from BYE will be a huge help. What’s wrong with this lineup, you ask? The only diagnosis I can come up with is that they’ve contracted the highly infectious HLV (Harwood Loser Virus).
Pete (3-2)
Last Week: 9th
Not a bad record for the boys in blue, considering the fourth overall pick hasn’t suited up since Week 1! This felt like an especially big win with so many important players on BYE, and with Tee Higgins still nursing a BBQ’d rib. If Pete pulls the right levers at the trade table or via the waiver wire to acquire reliable production out of the WR position, this roster would become an easy contender.
Ryan (2-3)
Last Week: 4th
It hasn’t been a storybook start to the season, but this is no time to abandon hope! This is one of the weirdest yet deepest RB rooms in all of GLOAT. Who would have thought that Zack Moss and Jerome Ford would be so valuable heading into Week 6? It’s also great to see Josh Jacobs return to form, but I’m also starting to think that Najee Harris just isn’t good at football? Prove me wrong! Christin Kirk is yet another reliable piece in what’s already a sneaky WR corps consisting of Diggs, Amari, and Lockett.
Devon (2-3)
Last Week: 6th
Even with Cooper Kupp back in the saddle, Puka managed to draw 11 targets of his own! It would appear that the rookie isn’t going anywhere. The loss of Herbert is notable, and Aaron Jones’ hammy has been nothing short of a fly in the eye. This roster is middle of the pack in scoring, and that’s come at less than full strength, so I ain’t stressing quite yet. Once Jones is back, these boys will be far more competitive.
Cole (2-3)
Last Week: 11th
Finally! Some positive injury news! Not only is Saquon inching towards a return to action, but Roschon Johnson is next in line for top dawg duties in the windy city. With Miami putting up NCAA Big 12 Conference scoring tallies on a weekly basis, you have to figure that Waddle will get in on the action eventually. Oh! And it’s nice of Joe to wake from his slumber!
Brad (2-3)
Last Week: 10th
Alright - who had Adam Theilen as the WR9 through Week 5? Anyone? I’m sure one of us saw that coming given how he was everyone’s target on draft day. The ‘Picken Flowers’ WR duo has been thrilling and frustrating - actually, you can apply those same adjectives to Nuk Hopkins too. No AR5? No problem. The baby faced killer with the 5th-highest NFL MVP odds should fill in nicely. As stated in Week 4, Gibbs holds the key to unlock this lineup.
Henry (1-4)
Last Week: 8th
The glass is not half empty. Rather, the Kupp is half full. Matthew Stafford’s breakfast buddy came back from his hammy injury and didn’t skip a beat. Targets, targets, and more targets. Hockenson should benefit from Jettas being grounded, and don’t look now - but Drake London has been somewhat reliable recently! It all comes down to King Henry and Rhamondre. They are the comeback key!
Tom (3-2)
Last Week: 12th
The blind hog finds an acorn. It’s nice to see Justin Fields post back-to-back baller performances, and the Jets D paired with the Texans’ Kicker is a force to be reckoned with!
TRADE UPDATE: Goodbye AJ Brown. Hello roster balance! Rachaad White and Jaylen Warren immediately become the best tailbacks on the team - and with any luck, Chris Olave becomes a jolly good fellow by becoming the wideout Mike drafted him to be!
