Power Rankings: Week 7
What a time to be alive! The trade market has been red hot and league parody has never been stronger.
Believe it or not, we’re entering the final half of the season! Before we get into the rankings, enjoy some bootleg memes.
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Chet & Mike (6-1)
Last Week: 10th
Figured I’d give Mike his flowers this week now that he’s in the chat. Najee Harris has been an overwhelming dud, and Damien Harris might be as well if Rhamondre doesn’t forfeit his touches. You know who hasn’t been a bum? JOSH MF’IN JACOBS, who’s been an absolute terror this past month. Burrow is cooking with gas, and the Tyreek/Brown tandem is truly elite. If Kittle stays hot, these boys should have no problem securing a playoff spot in the near future. With that said, people are staring to murmur about this gang’s legitimacy. Prove us wrong!
Devon (5-2)
Last Week: 2nd
First of all - love the rebrand. Excellent logo and team name. The W’s have been piling up, thanks mainly in part to Austin Ekeler’s supremacy. 4Net has been steady as well, but beyond those two - this roster is a band of misfits! Each and every one of these WRs has underperformed and for god’s sake - Geno Smith is the starting QB!!! And you know what? He’s been pretty darn good! At 5-2, our resident angler is just a few hook sets away from netting his first playoff appearance since his championship run in 2018.
Ryan (4-3)
Last Week: 1st
This roster gets scarier each and every week. The Stack, Super Kamario, and Kenneth Walker - who has the looks of a legit RB1. The man has been balling with a capital B. Beyond those two stud tailbacks, Henderson, CEH, Cordarelle, and Foreman/Chubba make up a backfield deeper than the Pacific. The WRs are shaky behind THE WR1, but they might not be needed! MJ’s daddy might just be a winner!
Case (3-4)
Last Week: 4th
Lamar is in the midst of a gnarly fantasy slump, but there’s just no way this trend can continue for too long. The WR trio feels unreliable, but you’d be hard-pressed to find another group with higher upside. All 3 have legit home run power. You know who doesn’t have high upside right now, though? AJ Dillon - who’s been a bit of an afterthought up in ‘Sconsin lately. Good thing Nick Chubb has been chubbin’ along! With Zeke somewhat banged up, it’ll be interesting to see if Tony P gets more involved on Sunday.
Bacich (4-3)
Last Week: 3rd
This roster is balanced like a mountain goat atop an icy Himalayan slope. The big name RBs are boring yet effective, but speedy Raheem Mostert has been sneaky good. I’d argue that the addition of CMC hurts Deebo’s fantasy upside, but it’s hard to knock a team with Davante Adams strapping up at WR2. Backing all that up with Jalen Hurts upside, and you have a pretty darn good team on your hands. Good for you, Peter! Yay!
Cole (3-4)
Last Week: 8th
Hard to not like this group! Because last season’s Derrick Henry & CMC duo never truly came to be, this Derrick Henry & JT combination becomes arguably the top backfield in GLOAT history. Tee Higgins is bound to have some pop games given Joe Burrow’s recent shift to the shotgun aerial attack, and the same should be said of CeeDee who now has his QB1 under center again. While the BYE is an unfortunate blocker, JuJu’s recent excellence only makes this WR unit more formidable. It’s seems obvious - but Rashod Bateman holds the key to this Maserati. If he can soak up targets and provide Lamar with a viable second option in the passing game, this roster will finish well north of .500.
Tom (2-5)
Last Week: 5th
Justin Jefferson & Cooper Kupp. I repeat. Justin Jefferson…Cooper Kupp. This is easily the greatest WR combination this league will ever see, so it’s not over yet. Had it not been for Breece Hall’s devastating ACL rip, I may have even had the stones to rank myself at #1. The presence of Gus Edwards and Brian Robinson make the rook’s injury slightly less sufferable, but the damage is certainly immense. This is the 3rd highest scoring team in the league, with 3 losses coming by A COMBINED 12 POINTS. If Father Time eases up on Tommy B, and if Lady Luck changes her tune - we all recognize how deadly this group could be. Don’t @ me.
Kyle (3-4)
Last Week: 12th
The DOW and NASDAQ indexes might be down, but this stock is entering bull market territory. I don’t need to harp on Saquon & Mixon, but I’m going to anyway. The Penn State product has established himself as potential league winner, and while often overlooked, Joe Mixon continues to put up solid numbers week in and week out. On a more subtle note, I LOVE the re-acquisition of Kareem Hunt. Cleveland’s backup RB and part-time kicker appears to be a likely trade candidate - and what if he ends up in LA? Or Buffalo? That’d be huge for the Harwood program. The WRs aren’t “glorious”, but I’ll be damned if they aren’t effective. Look out - Egghead might just start scrambling y’alls yolks here pretty soon.
Brad (2-5)
Last Week: 11th
He’s BAAAAACCKK. Winners of two straight, and all of a sudden this is no longer a roster than can be overlooked. With ETN now serving as top dawg in Duvall and D’Andre Swift finally returning to health, this becomes a dangerously dynamic backfield. The earlier Ja’Marr Chase concerns sound awfully silly now, and chances are that Tyler Lockett will have a few weeks of double digit targets coming his way following DK’s knee sprain. Mahomes and Keenan Allen’s BYE come at an especially inconvenient time - but watch out world. Bradley has some wind in his sails.
Bali (3-4)
Last Week: 9th
Sure they’re last in scoring, but am I really the only one who thinks this team ain’t half bad? At full health, this is easily the deepest roster in the league. In my eyes, it’s not even close. Mike Dubb’s high ankle sprain means that Mike Thomas needs to strap up ASAP. But DeAndre Hopkins could not have come back at a better time. For those that missed Thursday night’s game, Nuk appears to be every bit the receiver he was in Houston. With bigger numbers from Dad or Stafford, there’s a non-zero chance this underperforming gang can make a run.
Henry (4-3)
Last Week: 6th
The best way to quiet the haters? Make the playoffs. And if the season ended today, that’s exactly where Hank would be. I’m not gonna stand here and advocate that bargaining Cooper Kupp was a wise maneuver - but this is still a team with two borderline RB1s, two WR2’s, and another wideout on pace for ~170 targets. Kyle Pitts NEEDS to start putting up numbers, and the FLEX spot is suspect, but realistically speaking this team is potentially just 3 or 4 wins away from securing a playoff spot. With a little luck, you never know what can happen.
Austin (4-3)
Last Week: 7th
For give me, Stain. I love you, but this team is frail. 11th in scoring, SOMEHOW with a winning record. Sure, the CMC news is exciting - but how much better can his production really be in the ultra-talented red & gold? It appears DK’s knee injury is minor, but any sort of absence would be devastating for a team that could already be missing The Sun God with a noggin bonk. For a hot sec, Michael Carter looked like he could have been the real deal! But then JRob (also on the roster) gets shipped to the Big Apple, leaving Stain with two halves of the same backfield. But hey - Chris Olave is nice wit it.
