Power Rankings: Week 6
Ladies and gentlemen - for the first time in G.L.O.A.T. history, I present to you…. our very first Guest Writer Power Rankings! Take it away, Ryan!
1. Ryan (4-2)
Last Week: 2nd
If you thought I wasn’t going to put myself at number 1 - you are nuts. With the best stack this league has ever seen (QB1 & WR1) averaging 49 ppg you don’t need much help from the other teammates to get a win. That’s not even the most dangerous part of this roster either, the depth goes brazy at running back. Once Cordarrelle comes back its looking like Clyde will be the 4th option off the bench which is a tremendous place to be. This next week will be a challenge though, with 4 starters on the bench with a bye. We’ll see if I can produce a steady STREAM all over Mr. Silveria.
Player Comp: Brad Pitt
This man has been putting together solid performances for years on end and finally was able to secure that coveted Oscar in 2020. Seems like a very similar story arc to what I am putting together this year. And I mean come on the looks are just there, would be lying if I told you I’ve never been mistaken for him.
2. Devon (4-2)
Last Week: 7th
Lotta people been writing off Devon just like his Quarterback Geno Smith. Well I got news for you HE AINT WRITE BACK. Huge performance to move into second place last week. The RB and WR 1’s and 2’s are as strong as any in the league but the flex-type positions are where there are some question marks. If Cooks and Dobbins start performing like they’re meant to then this team will be dangerous. Pretty questionable holding 3 QB’s at one time especially when one of them is a rapist, that really brings down the morale of the team. But once Deshaun “Touchdown There” Watson suita up, he’ll be able to expose any defense to help this fantasy team.
Player Comp: Angler Fish
Like an Angler Fish, Devon is able to bait his opponents into interesting trades that seem intriguing. Then, the second you hit accept it’s too late and your fantasy season can be tanked in a matter of minutes. I speak this out of experience and implore you to take it as a cautionary tale.
3. Bacich (4-2)
Last Week: 1st
Just a tough week for this philly phanatic, almost getting doubled up by the last place team. But a major setback is almost always followed up by a major comeback, this team is stacked. A great QB and probably the best defense in the league and don’t even get me started on the meat of this order. HUGE matchup this week against another strong team if this team is able to get a win this week they’ll be on the right path headed towards a first round bye.
Player Comp: Jamaal Williams
A goofy player that everyone loves because of his personality, but it’s about time that people start taking SERIOUSLY as a strong competitor in this league.
4. Case (3-3)
Last Week: 5th
This team knows how to do one thing and that is put points on the board. A very strong team that has gotten unlucky a couple of weeks with some tough losses. The three Ravens have been performing very well but this team lacks a bit on the receiving core - but gaining Gabe Davis definitely improves this roster. If only this squad had a RB who was his team’s entire offense running behind a very strong O-line, but those types of players are real tough to come by and are not given up often.
Player Comp: Giraffe
The face of the African Savannah, a majestic animal that draws the eyes of all safari goers. As time has moved on, poachers are keen to take down these beasts. The target on them has gone up by leaps and bounds.
5. Tom (2-4)
Last Week: 8th
DO NOT let this man get hot, luckily we haven’t let him. This guy’s roster is stacked and his young stars are starting to perform at their ceiling which is bad news for the rest of this league - but here’s the kicker. His non-talent positions are much too volatile - something that you can absolutely not let happen in a fantasy league. Might want to focus some higher draft capital on defense and a kicker this next season. This team is far from out of it though, if this team is able to sneak into the playoffs, we are all in trouble.
Player Comp: LeBron James
Some call him the GOAT, especially himself. One of the greatest players to ever live but there have been multiple reports that he may be washed. Once this man makes the playoffs though, all bets are off as he is perennially the most dangerous man when it matters most.
6. Henry (3-3)
Last Week: 10th
BLOCKBUSTER ALERT BLOCKBUSTER ALERT!!! We gotta start calling Henry Fleece Hall with how he made Kyle miss. This receiving corps is one of the strongest in the league when everyone is in, and for Pitts it’s not “If” it’s “When”. For Henry’s sake we hope that happens soon. At 500 this team is in a great position to make a playoff run, and anything can happen once you are there.
Player Comp: Netflix
If you all recall, Blockbuster was once set up to buy Netflix for $50 million dollars in the year 2000. Now Netflix is worth $121.13 Billion Dollars, what a blown transaction on Blockbuster’s part.
7. Austin (4-2)
Last Week: 7th
This guy keeps getting ranked on the wrong side of the power rankings, but he just keeps on winning. 0.8 more points and he would be atop the standings right now! This team has some of the best players in the league but the depth is lacking. If he is able to grab some key role players to work around his stars for the playoffs, he can definitely make a run at another title.
Player Comp: 2009 Los Angeles Lakers
No one thought Kobe and the Lakers would win another title after Shaq left. After losing to the Celtics in 2008 things looked bleak, but this team proved they always compete and came back to repeat titles. Never count them out!
8. Cole (2-4)
Last Week: 3rd
You got this bud, just keep trying! A broken clock is right twice a day, you’ll make a run if you just keep suiting up. I’m assuming we’ll be doing this league for many years to come - just hang in there.
Player Comp: This Guy
Don’t have much information on who this is I just think they look similar.
9. Bali (2-4)
Last Week: 10th
New guy! Given a tough start, lets see how this guy can turn this team around. Hopkins comes back to an already strong receiving core. If he is able to make a trade to help out Dalvin, this team could string a couple of wins together. He’ll be behind the 8 ball though. If this club can clinch the playoffs we have an early candidate for manager of the year.
Player Comp: Dusty Baker
This absolute legend took the reins from the cheating scum bag AJ Hinch and are now favorites to win the World Series this year. Let’s see if John can take over this team and turn them into a juggernaut.
10. Chet (5-1)
Last Week: 4th
This is almost 100% going to come back to bite me in the ass - but FRAUD ALERT! This team is going up against the third least amount of points in the league and keeps squeaking out wins. They have a strong core of guys but after that, there’s not much to write home about. Good thing Chet didn’t draft this team or it would be 1-5.
Player Comp: Drake
One of the greatest musical artists of all time, and I’ll tell you what - no one likes Drake more than the Ry Guy. But are all the awards and accolades worth it if you don’t even write your own music?
11. Brad (1-5)
Last Week: 12th
Got the first one out of the way, its going to be a tough journey to find a spot in the playoffs. If anyone were to do it I would place my money on Brad. Once Swift and Allen are back this team looks like it will return to the old 2018 10-3 Brad. Etienne is trending up as well, so if this team can find a nice piece to put into that flex spot they will definitely make some noise.
Player Comp: 2022 Las Vegas Raiders
Sitting at an uncomfortable 1-5 right now this team seems down and out. They aren’t though, with a roster with some of the most raw talent in the league I wouldn’t be surprised if this team ran the table and went 12-5.
12. Kyle (2-4)
Last Week: 9th
Don’t get down on yourself, there wasn’t a chance in hell you were winning that game last week. It’s just nuts that this loss got in your head so much that you had to go out shopping for a bunch of new toys! All jokes aside this team looks pretty solid on paper - playoffs are not out of the question. But knowing Kyle’s luck, we don’t have much to worry about anyone taking our spot from all the way at the bottom of the power rankings.
Player Comp: Blockbuster
*See Netflix Player Comp*
