Power Rankings: Week 8
Tommy kindly gave up the keys to the castle for a week and boy does it feel GOOD! I certainly wish I didn’t have another teeter totter week, because I would have gone scorched earth on ALL of you.
That said, why shy away? This may be my only chance to actually tell you boys how it is.
A power ranking by one man does have built in “subjectivity” and “bias”. However, Tom’s writing style will have one believe he’s putting his best Beat Writer’s hat on. To that I say, nay, this weasle has had an agenda since day one: to quiet those who speak loudest.
Not today boys…welcome to…the STAIN of TRUTH.
Bacich (6-2)
Last Week: 2nd
Hey Bacich, you hear about the new NBA midseason tournament? Of course you haven’t, you don’t know anything. For this weekly Power Ranking, I’m granting this pointless title of #1 to you. While your team has been good, I still don’t see you sitting at the top come year’s end. While you probably have the best 1-2 punch at WR, I don’t believe your RB room will get you there. Yes, even when Achane and Conner come back. I don’t like seeing your team be good and I won’t hide it. Congrats on your engagement though!
Mike & Chet (5-3)
Last Week: 4th
This team is a gosh darn threat and I hate every bit of it. I have every reason to put you two at the top because of the true strength at RB and WR, even without JJ. I was thinking the Kirk Cousins injury would be a big blow to Jefferson’s production when he comes back, but Josh Dobbs just may be frisky enough to make things business as usual. Tommy’s been peddling the negative karma we want to impose on Case for still not having a replacement trophy ready. Maybe the actual karma is giving the defending champs no trophy, and the self titled Tommy “2-time” trading Chet his favorite WR, all for a chance for the West End Boys to make a run at championship # 2. Ugh, it makes me sick. Speaking of trophies….
Case (5-3)
Last Week: 1st
Tommy I’m going rogue! Moving forward, I hereby BAN Case from being included in the write up for the weekly power rankings until there is a solution to the lack of a proper Trophy for this league. This ban will be imposed until there is a new trophy in the defendant’s possession, ready to be sent to the current champ. As a former Champion, I find it disrespectful, it’s time for you to pay your penance.
Pete (5-3)
Last Week: 6th
Peter the Cop picked Kamara at the right time in the draft and Peter was right to do so. You forget that beating up a guy almost two years ago doesn’t really affect your ability to play. Speaking of cops, here’s a take, you ever think about Austin Ekeler’s demeanor? In a second life, I think that guy would be a cop. This team is solid and moving in the right direction. I can easily see this them making a run.
Tom (5-3)
Last Week: 11th
I’m going to mirror Tom with a pun this time to mock him. Every year this guy comes out and finds fantasy friends in low places and it PISSES me off. This team has so many boring names I can’t stand it. I’ve always believed that Tom is only good because he puts in about 20% more effort, which I do realize IS statistically significant. But what’s the point, you’re a one time champ and will probably still be after this year. Oh why did he move up a few spots? Because I’m tired of the fantasy self depreciation, your team is good.
Austin (4-4)
Last Week: 3rd
This team is a new state of purgatory. Sure, I can chalk it up to a one off week of misfortune by Mahomes and Pacheco in Denver. But the chiefs WR group is not great and I now go week-to-week thinking they’ll do nothing for my boy. What’s also great to know? The Chiefs don’t fly out to Germany until Thursday…just my luck. Montgomery needs to come back after the Lions BYE and take back the 3-down role from Jahmyr for me to have a chance at the title once again. I think he will, but I see this team either making a run in the next couple of weeks or falling off the earth.
Brad (4-4)
Last Week: 4th
Well if it isn’t Bradley. You must enjoy your weekly morale boost and to be on the receiving end of incessant optimism, GOSH that sounds nice. Not today buddy…NOT today. Brock Purdy? maybe not the truth (I hope he still is). Jahmyr? he’ll go back to being a glorified hood ornament once Montgomery comes back. Amon-Ra might be named after the Sun but he’s no God. I even bet you T-Swift breaks up with Travis and he turns to mush. You might be able to make a charge to the playoffs, but what I see with my two eyes, you STINK!
Cole (3-5)
Last Week: 12th
I must start by saying, great performance last week, gg’s (handshake emoji). I like the potential of a second half comeback by you because Joe Burrow is BACK. WR will be your downfall if it comes to it but if Kyren can come back, and the rest of your RBs produce, you can make a run. All that said, let’s share a little anecdote. At P Fest this year, in the Howell residence, Tom and I learned that Tena has the ESPN App loaded so she can check in on the GLOAT. How sweet! I always love Mother & Son bonding, but that did not stop me from chiming in, “Oh Tena, one thing you should know, your son will NEVER win in this league!”
Henry (3-4-1)
Last Week: 8th
Henry good Sir! Any team with the stalwart of the Tush Push and Cooper Kupp at the top of the roster, with your solid RB depth–has to be a team that cannot be overlooked. You got back on the winning side this week and if luck can remain on your side, who says you can’t make the ‘yoffs. While there should be some optimism, aside from Kupp, the rest of your WR room is still mid at best. Good luck with Case this week, I couldn’t tell you anything about that squad based on this blog.
Devon (3-5)
Last Week: 7th
Well if it isn’t Case’s AAA team! While I appreciate a good bromance, I still think something is afoot every time you two make a trade. Which, funny enough, seemingly happens every year! You’ve got Lamar who’s been great along with Puka–who still leads the league in targets and receptions (I didn’t fact check that, but I always appreciate Tom digging up cool stats). With that said, Tony Pollard hasn’t been a true RB1 like he was supposed to be (luckily your boy sent you JT who has that upside!). Davante’s favorite team growing up is in free fall, Waller is hurt again, meaning you gotta turn this past bad week around now if you want to make a run!
Ryan (2-5-1)
Last Week: 10th
This team has certainly turned into a roster that has us thinking about our boy Cryan who we all know and love. You tied the other week with Hank, but we all know, this should be a 2-6 team. What is there for you to do? Hope that Daniel Jones comes back and gets you rushing TD’s like you hoped? FUN! The only way I see this roster giving you some joy like MJ is if a few of your players find a symbiote suit and go on a tear (Spider Man 2 reference, highly recommend y'all get a PS5).
Kyle (2-6)
Last Week: 9th
What’s that theory again? Time can be looked at as a flat circle? I think it means that anything that has ever happened, it’s just an iteration of something that has happened before. That something for you…LOSING. In this league, it’s your curse, but what I like to think…it’s your purpose. I will agree that you may have run into some of the worst matchup luck known to man this year. I mean you have CMC and this roster is respectable! But alas, you still find a way. Get your comeback ready, because that’s all you got going for you this year.
