Power Rankings: Week 13
It all comes down to this. You’re in the delivery room. You’re squeezing hubby’s hand. You’re crowning.
It’s time for the final push. For the playoffs I mean.
4 spots have been sealed up, leaving two up for grabs. Kyle, Bacich, Case, Stainer, Cole, and (jussttttttt maybe) T$ are vying for position.
Giddyup fellas. One to get!
Playoff Scenarios
Henry - Playoffs locked up. The first round BYE has essentially been secured given his scoring lead over Pete.
Chet & Mike - Playoffs locked up. A win and/or a loss from Pete would secure a first round BYE.
Brad - Playoffs locked up. Need a win, and a loss from both Chet & Mike and Pete (while maintaining a slim scoring lead) in order to secure a first round BYE.
Pete - Playoffs locked up. Even if Pete ends with the same record as Chet/Mike, the scoring margin is too wide. Week 14 is essentially meaningless.
Kyle - Win and you’re in. If you lose, you need to maintain your slim scoring margin over Austin & Bacich. The rest of the 6-7 teams have too large of a points deficit to make the jump.
Bacich - Win and you’re likely in. Need to maintain scoring advantage over the other 6-7 teams in order to secure a spot. Austin is only ~35 points behind.
Austin - Need a win, and a loss from Bacich/Kyle. Points scored will be a huge factor as the tiebreaker.
Cole - Need a win, and losses from Kyle, Bacich, and Austin. The points aren’t working in your favor, but it’s also important to watch out for Case. He’s only ~10 points behind ya.
Case - Need a win over Kyle, and losses from Cole and Austin. The points aren’t working in your favor. It’s bleak.
Tom - Hear me out. Beat Austin, and then a combination of losses from Cole, Bacich, and Kyle/Case, all while chipping away at the points margin. It’s a long shot, but hey, just maybe!!! Upon further review, I am dead.
Power Rankings
Henry (10-3)
Last Week: 3rd
Look at Hank man, so inspirational. After back-to-back abysmal seasons, GLOAT’s token DEI case study is posting a career season. It’s no secret that Saquon has carried the load, but let’s not overlook Ladd McConkey and Jonnu Smith. Jonnu? Seriously? Those two have gone nuclear down the stretch. Enjoy these next two week’s buddy, because you’ve got nothing to stress about in Week 14 & Week 15! The semis await.
Chet & Mike (9-4)
Last Week: 2nd
Here we go again. The Bengals stink, but Heading West does not. Burrow, Chase, & Brown continue to post elite figures on a weekly basis, and Drake London has been an absolute target hog. If Pacheco and Smitty get back up to speed - watch out! These two could very well become GLOAT’s second repeat champion. I’m the only double champ. I won in 2019 and in 2023. Just a reminder.
Kyle (7-6)
Last Week: 4th
This roster is straight up terrifying. I find it pretty shocking that a first round BYE is an impossibility, let alone the fact that the playoffs aren’t even a lock yet! For those of you who are still in the hunt, y’all should be actively rooting against Kyle in Week 14. His team is better than yours, and you DO NOT want to match up with him in Round 1.
Pete (9-4)
Last Week: 5th
I’m pretty sure Pete counted himself out last month. But after rattling off five consecutive victories, the man is within arms reach of a first round BYE. You have to feel good about the way these boys are playing. The acquistion of Courtland Sutton and Tee Higgins was YYYUUUGE.
Brad (8-5)
Last Week: 1st
Brad! What happened? You had a BYE locked up! But after four straight L’s, all of sudden you’re staring down the barrel of a measly 4th seed! With Ekeler and Dobbins both in the tent, BK and the boys are hemorrhaging as we head into the final week of the regular season. It’s time to scour the waiver wire for some last minute ingredients in your championship recipe.
Bacich (6-7)
Last Week: 9th
It’s good to see that one of us is riding the Nick Westbrook-Ikhine hot streak. 20 catches on the year, and 8 TDs. WHAT! Truth be told, I don’t know what to make of this roster. Mid? Bad? Good? I don’t have an answer for you. What I do know if that Bacich is squarely involved in the playoff hunt! We’ve seen shakier teams win it all. Like mine. When I won it all last season. Just in case you forgot.
Austin (6-7)
Last Week: 6th
No Bears, SOME Problems. The three-headed monster of James Cook, Joe Mixon, and Kyren Williams is not the issue. But the WR situation has been reminiscent of a 2012 A$AP Rocky banger, F**king Problems. Diontae Johnson didn’t even record a snap on Sunday, Deebo has less than 20 total points in the last month, Odunze can’t be trusted, and now Taysom Hill is dunzo. How will Stainer adapt?
Cole (6-7)
Last Week: 8th
Confusing ass team. Each and every one of us made this same mistake on draft day, but Travis Etienne over Derrick Henry is an ouchie and a half. The future is bleak. But hey, when there’s a will there’s a way. Pretty bummed there isn’t a Will on your roster, that would have been a fun pun.
Case (6-7)
Last Week: 7th
Christian friggin’ McCaffrey. Destroyer of dreams. On the flip side, Jerry Jeudy is no longer a JAG. And that development could be huge, because Week 14 presents a pretty brutal slate of BYE’s with Jaden McDaniels and Brian Robinson resting up. Focus up! Gotta win this one!
Tom (5-8)
Last Week: 10th
So you’re telling me there’s a chance…….. Had Nico never pulled a hammy and missed five games, we might be talking about this team differently here in Week 14. But hey, I’m not one for revisionist history. I’ll take my medicine.
Ryan (4-9)
Last Week: 12th
Too little, too late. But hey! You dodged the last place punishment of beer duty on draft day! Small wins are important too.
Devon (2-11)
Last Week: 11th
Chet likes Bud Light, which is a bad take. I’m always game for a Coors Latte, but I think your best bet is to grab some Modelos for the boys next Labor Day Weekend. Much appreciated!
