Power Rankings: Week 12

Well boys, here we are! The season finale of our 2020 Power Rankings. The last three months have been an absolute blur, but I want to thank you again for tuning in and helping me find this funky little passion of mine. I really do love putting these together every week!

Back to business.

The playoff picture is mostly set, with Still T.O.M. and Moore Crow-Bell both securing First Round BYE’s after a pair of Week 12 victories. The Hammered Hanks and the A Stainers have secured the next two playoff spots, though the exact seeding is still undetermined.

Here’s where it gets exciting. Lord Beer Me Strength currently holds the 5th seed at 6-7, with Peter’s Team, Christian Kirk, Z-Unit, and The Steamers (yes, The Steamers) all battling for a playoff spot as well. That means at least one - potentially two - sub .500 teams are going to make the playoffs this year, which will be a first in league history. Below, I did my best to break down what each of these teams need in Week 13 to secure a playoff spot. There are other outcomes that could play out, but these are the clearest paths to victory.

Lord Beer Me Strength: Win

Peter’s Team: Win + maintain the 50+ point scoring lead over the rest of the field.

Christian Kirk: Win + a Bacich loss OR Win + overcome Bacich’s 50 point scoring lead.

Z-Unit: Win + losses to both Bacich and Chet.

The Steamers: Win + losses to Bacich and Chet.

As for the race for Most Points Scored, it’s shaping up to be a photo finish. It very well might come down to Monday Night Football.

Still T.O.M. - 1587.42

The Steamers - 1586.14 (1.28)

Hammered Hanks - 1549.24 (38.18)

A Stainers - 1531.14 (56.28)

1. Still T.O.M. (10-2)

   Last Week: 2nd

   First Round BYE Odds: 100%

   Another year, another double digit win season for yuurrrboyyyy. That makes three straight - but who’s counting right? The Week 12 nailbiter victory over the Hammered Hanks secures a First Round BYE, which allows for a stress-free Week 13 and Week 14. But with just a 1.3 point lead over The Steamers in Total Points Scored, there’s still plenty to play for. Even with the strong week, it’s becoming increasingly apparent that a championship climb is going to be especially slippery without CMC and a healthy Kyler Murray. How good is JRob though???

2. Moore Crow-Bell (10-2)

   Last Week: 1st

   First Round BYE Odds: 100%

   With a W and a Hammered Hanks’ L in Week 12, Moore Crow-Bell has officially clinched a First Round BYE. Yipee! Good thing too, because the upcoming battle with the Hammered Hanks would’ve been especially daunting with Julio nursing a tight hammy and DJ Moore on BYE. Young studs AJ Brown and Antonio Gibson continue to carry the torch, but more will be needed from Russ, Julio, and Zeke come playoff time. Enjoy your weekend of stress free football!

3. Hammered Hanks (8-4)

   Last Week: 3rd

   Playoff Odds: 100%

   Tough loss, but there’s no reason to fret. This is clearly one of the most prolific lineups in the league - one that nobody wants to face in the playoffs. Especially when you consider that George Kittle might be coming back in the near future. GULP. As much as I hate to admit it, in all likelihood DK is the closest thing we’ve seen to Megatron since his retirement. When the ball is thrown his direction, it’s pretty scary. Assuming Dalvin Cook’s ankle is good to go, I pity the fool who has to match up with the Hammered Hanks in Week 14.

4. A Stainers (8-4)

   Last Week: 4th

   Playoff Odds: 100%

   Anyone would be stoked to be at 8-4 at this juncture in the season, but a few Stainers seem to be trending in the wrong direction at an inopportune time. Alvin Kamara hasn’t been Alvin Kamara with Taysom Hill under center, and Travis Fulgham has gone from a quality WR2 to barely startable. But still, Patrick Mahomes and Davante Adams continue to outperform even their highest expectations, and Ronald Jones is still an intimidating presence despite his inconsistencies. Down roughly 56 points from the top with three teams to jump, there likely isn’t much to play for in Week 13 beyond pride and playoff seeding.

5. Lord Beer Me Strength (6-6)

   Last Week: 5th

   Playoff Odds: 87.4%

   Kenny Golladay, eh? Yeah, that stinks. But at 6-6 you still hold a slim one game lead over the rest of the field. Win, and you’re in. There still might be a scenario where you can afford to lose and still qualify for the postseason, but considering you’re trailing both Peter’s Team and Christian Kirk in total points scored, I’d suggest winning this week. With plenty of firepower on the roster and a potential spot-start from Devontae Booker, there’s plenty of reason for optimism against the shorthanded A Stainers.

6. The Steamers (4-8)

   Last Week: 9th

   Playoff Odds: 11.2%

   Well, hello there! Aaron Rodgers, Derrick Henry, and Tyreek Hill alone would have beaten 5 teams this week. Those three combined for 114.54 points, by far the highest figure a trio has put up in the history of our league. So really, the rest of the team only had to do so much to break the league’s single week scoring record. Not only did this 186 point explosion propel Bradley into the race for most points scored, but he’s in the playoff conversation as well! If The Steamers top Z-Unit next week, and both Peter’s Team and Christian Kirk lose, then Brad’s boys will inevitably win the tie breaker and thus clinch a playoff spot. I’m rooting for you, but I’m also rooting against you. Ya know?

7. Peter’s Team (5-7)

   Last Week: 6th

   Playoff Odds: 51.0%

   That Thanksgiving game sure was exciting! How bout Deshaun and Will Fuller popping off? That was fun while it lasted. Will Fuller has had trouble staying on the field throughout his whole career, and in the middle of a both healthy and dominant 2020 campaign, the guy gets popped for PEDs leading to a 6 game suspension. Brutal for him, and brutal for Peter’s Team. Gotta get a dub this week!

8. Christian Kirk (5-7)

   Last Week: 7th

   Playoff Odds: 36.9%

   Austin Ekeler is back! Which means this squad is officially a playoff contender again. If D’Andre Swift can return from concussion protocol, then we need to tread lightly. Of course, Christian Kirk and the boys need to qualify for the postseason first. With Mike Evans and Tom Brady on BYE next week, and with CEH having missed practice today, it’s not going to be an easy victory. Brees In The Trap is on deck for the regular season finale, who happens to be coming off a season high score. Good luck!

9. Z-Unit (5-7)

   Last Week: 8th

   Playoff Odds: 12.3%

   Can Z turn water into wine with this roster? Well, one could argue he already has, given the extensive list of injuries. Chris Carson ran hard in his return to the field, Myles Gaskin could come off IR as soon as next week, and Brandin Cooks is bound to see an uptick in targets with Will Fuller on timeout. A lot needs to go right next week in order to qualify for a playoff spot, starting off with a victory over an opponent who just broke the league scoring record. Not exactly ideal, but that’s how the Rigley Muffin crumbles.

10. Brees In The Trap (4-8)

    Last Week: 11th

    Playoff Odds: 0%

    Hey, at least you get to play spoiler this week! Take out your season-long frustration by knocking off Chetty Boy this weekend. Oh, by the way. You won the TJ Hockenson trade. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

11. Terra Nova Tigers (4-8)

    Last Week: 12th

    Playoff Odds: 0%

    Week 13 is meaningless. Banged and bruised from start to finish, the team was hardly ever at full strength. It’s time to take out the trash and prep for 2021 Draft Night. Do us a favor and think of some potential live draft locations.

12. 0.2% Chance (3-9)

    Last Week: 10th

    Playoff Odds: 0%

    Yeahhhhhhh, not good. Losers of 7 straight, having scored north of 100 points just twice in that span. In the words of Harvey Dent, the night is darkest just before dawn. So maybe next season won’t be so sh*tty?