Power Rankings: Week 4

BALANCE. 11 of the 12 teams are separated by just 2 games. If this trend continues, we’re in for one hell of a playoff push. Hope y’all are having a peachy week!

1. Hammered Hanks (3-1)

   Last Week: 2nd

   Go off, son! When you fall just 5 points shy of a league record, you’re due for a power ranking raise. QB2, RB3, WR3, WR7, and WR8. Oh and that guy, George Kittle. Maybe you’ve heard of him. If Justin Jackson can return some form of consistent value in that second tailback slot, then we’re all royally f*cked.

2. Moore Crow-Bell (4-0)

   Last Week: 1st

   UN-DE-FEAT-ED. With no shortage of injuries too! AJ Brown and Le’Veon Bell have hardly been on the field, and now Julio’s at risk of missing time. So far though, Russ and the boys have had no problem picking up the slack. With the way the league is shaping up, is it too early to be talking about the playoffs??

3. Still T.O.M. (3-1)

   Last Week: 6th

   Yeah, I’m still f*cking with you. Still waters run deep. Still T-Dub and T-O-M. Naw naw, fam. GUESS WHO’S BACK. Winners of three straight, with no shortage of momentum. Other teams may offer more of an explosive upside, but few offer this kind of balanced attack. Three borderline RB1’s and 3 safe WR2’s, with one hell of a QB. Up next is a monumental matchup with John Brown. Stay tuned for The Next Episode.

4. A Stainers (2-2)

   Last Week: 3rd

   Well, it didn’t take long for CeeDee Lamb to completely eclipse Michael Gallup. He may just be the WR2 that Stain’s been looking for since we learned of Jarvis Landry’s insignificance in Cleveland. I don’t want any part of the Rams backfield - good thing Stain has all three! But hey, RoJo looked great on Sunday, AK is still the RB1, and the team still managed to put up 120 without Davante Adams. There’s a red hot and steamy opponent waiting in Week 5 though.

5. John Brown (3-1)

   Last Week: 4th

   Is losing your first or second round pick to injury a cool thing to do these days? Austin Ekeler is just the newest high value fantasy player to hit the sideline, and this one looked pretty ugly. With zero RB depth, that’s going to be a tough hole to fill - especially with D’Andre Swift on BYE. CEH, Mike Evans, and Tyler Pop Lockett Droppit are gonna have to show out in a premier Week 5 matchup against another 3-1 competitor.

6. The Steamers (1-3)

   Last Week: 10th

   The toilet’s been unclogged folks. Which means The Steamers are finally flowing at full speed. The Steelers/Titans mishap in Week 4 actually worked out to BK’s advantage, as the team was able to put up nearly 170 with their best player on BYE. But the real reasoning for this massive shift in optimism is Kareem Hunt - who’s now an undisputed top ten running back with Nick Chubb sidelined for the foreseeable future. The second highest scoring team in the league may have an unjust 1-3 record, but nobody wants to matchup with these guys.

7. Peter’s Team (1-3)

   Last Week: 5th

   Uh oh. Losers of three straight, and now Aaron Jones enters his BYE week. There’s no reason for lost confidence, as this remains one of the few teams that hasn’t been decimated by star injuries - but a Week 5 win feels important. Not must-win territory, but important nonetheless. Josh Jacobs needs to rebound in a major way and compliment the steady WR production the team’s been enjoying all season long.

8. Terra Nova Tigers (1-3)

   Last Week: 8th

   TNT’s first and second round picks have generated just 39.1 fantasy points through four weeks of the season. Woof. Adam Thielen and Todd Gurley have helped to numb some of the pain, but it hasn’t been enough to get off the schneid. With Raheem Mostert and Michael Thomas returning as soon as Week 5, perhaps we could be looking at a tale of two halves. At least that’s what Kyle’s hoping for. Because 2-3 sounds a hell of a lot better than 1-4. While you’re reading this, can someone put Kenyan Drake’s face on a milk carton?

9. #1 Team in all of HMB (2-2)

   Last Week: 7th

   To be fair, the team wasn’t at full strength with Cam Newton, Chris Godwin, and Leonard Fournette ruled out. But yikes. That Week 4 performance was almost an all-time record, and not the good kind of record. If Brandin Cooks, AJ Green, and Marvin Jones Jr. continue with this level of fantasy irrelevance, then this is a team with serious WR issues. But hey, at 2-2 all you can do is move on and focus on your next AB.

10. Brees In The Trap (1-3)

    Last Week: 10th

    And just like that, no more winless teams! I’m asking for a friend, are you still sick of Joe Mixon? Boy he sure looked like a scrub on Sunday, amirite? I’m convinced he and Jonathan Taylor make up one of the premier RB duos in our league, as Taylor’s offensive involvement will eventually pay off in a bigger way. Boyd and Anderson have been steadily dominant all season long, and while Calvin Ridley’s goose egg on MNF is concerning, I’d bet my pinky toe it doesn’t happen again.

11. Lord Beer Me Strength (1-3)

    Last Week: 9th

    From Bouceback SZN to Lord Beer Me Strength? Where’s your confidence fam? Sure Nick Chubb is on IR. Sure, half of our league might be more athletic than David Johnson right now. But hey - Joshua Kelley and Damien Harris look poised for bigger roles in their respective offenses. Josh Allen is as elite as they come right now, and you still offer dependable studs like Travis Kelce and Robert Woods. Up next is a very winnable matchup against an equally depleted #9 team in all of HMB.

12. Z-Unit (2-2)

    Last Week: 12th

    Don’t be fooled! These boys are far from dead. At 2-2, Z has a better record than nearly half the league. Terry McLaurin is an emerging star, Diontae Johnson has more targets than JuJu, and Hollywood Brown’s target share and upside offer plenty of reason for hope. Don’t look now, but how far away are we from seeing Chase Edmonds surpass Kenyan Drake on the depth chart? Hell, even D’Ernest Johnson may be able to provide FLEX value for as long as Chubb nurses his MCL injury. The team has a clear lack of starpower, but maybe it’s better than we realize.